My sense of identity...

This blog of mine is dedicated to womanhood as I get immense pleasure in recounting her achievements and keeping up the hope that I would achieve similar fame and status one day.

We have come a long way since the ages when purdah or sati system or the contemparary witchhunting practices of the west thrived in this world. Today, women in the developed and developing world are no longer confined to the 4 walls of a house and are getting smarter by the day by gaining knowledge about the world and events around them through media and social interactions. Stepping out of one's boundaries is no longer a taboo for today's woman and she's out on her own to explore her world. Women are performing various roles in their personal and professional lives with expertise. A big contributing factor in their success is that nature itself has gifted them with better endurance for stress and emotional pressures, and so on an average they can boast to have a better EQ as well which is a plus point in their managerial skills. Today's woman is educated, which manifests itself in education for the whole family, as an educated woman not only deftly handles the arduous task of imparting values to and educating her kids, but also participates in better decision making at homefront as well. Today's women are financially independent and carry greater awareness which empowers them and gives them a sense of identity of their own.

Today's women are faring equal to-and in some cases better than- men in every walk of life. They have made their presence felt not only in conventional fields such as engineers, doctors, accountants, lawyers but are taking up careers even in upcoming fields such as fashion designing, mass communication, politics etc. Breaking the glass ceiling, they are working neck to neck with men and leading their way through several challenges including conventional societal mindsets which act as bottlenecks. Be it Sonia Gandhi or Pratibha Patil in politics, or Chanda Kochhar and Naina Lal Kidwai in BFSI, or Barkha Dutt in journalism, or Indira Nooyi in retail; they are expertly performing their roles as the ace of many establishments.

Having said that, I take satisfaction in my case and aspire to be a big-shot myself one day.

The inner circle...

I was watching Krishna the other day in the epic episode where Krishna was about to depart from Nandgaon towards Mathura at the occasion of Dhanush Yagya invite from Kansa. The occasion culminates with the death of Kansa at the hands of Lord Krishna. Back to the scene, Krishna has told Yashoda maaiya that He is an avataar, and so Yashoda maiyya becomes apprehensive that Krishna might never return to her. To quell her apprehensions she asks Him straighfacedly whether He would return, but Lord Krishna averts the question, the reply is not in affirmative.

Lord Krishna, later in a dialogue with Radha tells her that Krishna avataar, amonst many purposes signifies to the world that love, belongingness and devotion are emotions which can be felt even when you are not near your loved ones.

More than anyone else who has ever been or would be, Lord Krishna personifies Geeta, which he preached during the war of Mahabharata; thus:

• Why do you worry without cause? Whom do you fear without reason? Who can kill you? The soul is neither born, nor does it die.

• Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is happening, is happening for the good; whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only. You need not have any regrets for the past. You need not worry for the future. The present is happening...

• What did you lose that you cry about? What did you bring with you, which you think you have lost? What did you produce, which you think got destroyed? You did not bring anything - whatever you have, you received from here. Whatever you have given, you have given only here. Whatever you took, you took from God. Whatever you gave, you gave to him. You came empty handed, you will leave empty handed. What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow. You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows.

• Change is the law of the universe. What you think of as death, is indeed life. In one instance you can be a millionaire, and in the other instance you can be steeped in poverty. Yours and mine, big and small - erase these ideas from your mind. Then everything is yours and you belong to everyone.

• This body is not yours, neither are you of the body. The body is made of fire, water, air, earth and ether, and will disappear into these elements. But the soul is permanent - so who are you?

• Dedicate your being to God. He is the one to be ultimately relied upon. Those who know of his support are forever free from fear, worry and sorrow.

• Whatever you do, do it as a dedication to God. This will bring you the tremendous experience of joy and life-freedom forever.

Over the course of his life, Krishna would have to leave behind his existing relationships, at different stages of his life; including his beloved Radha; though he remains connected to her in eternal bliss and is worshipped world over. In doing so he also taught the world how to deal with a sense of loss. Even nature manifests this lesson in different ways. Little hatchlings leave their nests and parent's protection as soon as they learn how to fly. This is their way of life. As human beings, we should thank God for the body and soul that He has endowed on us and learn that spiritualism or devotion to Him is the only way to live.

Trapped in the rat race...

All the world's a stage as Shakespeare said in 'As You Like It'

***Quote***

All the world's a stage

And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

***Unquote***

The above is about the long melodrama known as life where each of us goes about performing their parts in their personal and professional lives.The impact that they leave on this world is a different story altogether! Amongst all the chatter that each one of us is sent with his/her destiny written beforehand and a mission to accomplish; I often wonder how many of us have a larger than life missions. What is it that prompts a person to have a mission which is larger than life?

I give full credit to Maslow for his theory on pyramid of human needs, which decide the motif of a human beings' action or behaviour at any particular instant. Lowest in the strata comes physiological needs like breathing, homeostatis, water, sleep, clothing, food and sex. Next strata is the need for safety, health and well being from the known and the unknown. Third strata signifies the need for love and belonging and the social needs, and the fourth strata is the need for self-esteem, or the need to be respected and valued by others.

Each one of us has been conditioned for these various needs, in terms of expectation setting and fulfillment, from the very beginning of our lives all through the end. Through our upbringing, through our interactions with the outside world, through the events that have shaped up our lives and depending on our age and life-stage we are in, we have been conditioned towards these various needs.

Its only the 5th level or the level of self actualization that is attained through interactions with self. This level is attained only when there is immense self respect and motivation to realize one's own potential to the maximum.

Depending on the context, different needs take over the human mind. Maslow also says that until a lower level need is fulfilled, the behaviour gets dominated by that need.

What if a lower lever need remains perpetually unfulfilled?

For the millions at the bottom of the pyramid in India, the junta is struggling either for 2 square meals a day, water to drink, basic sanitation, clothing and shelter. Isn't that what perpetually plays over their minds and hinders them from realizing or fully expressing the next level needs of Maslow's hierarchy.

Now lets come to the next level, the so called lower-middle class. This class has jobs, families but are again riddled with the problems of electricity shortage, irregular water supply, unclean cities, the only respite to them being TV in the form of entertainment, and now mobiles ofcourse. There safety needs are also unfulfilled particularly in today's context for job security, frequential accidents, health problems and diseases. Where do they have the time to think about anything else, in terms of so called next level needs of the hierarchy.

Now we come to the metropolitan middle class. In addition to all the problems above they are riddled with the problem of less time at their disposal, alongwith fears about financial security and health. This is true even for cases where life is getting more and more luxurious with world class hospitals, and a 24 hour assurance of electricity and water. There is a manifest trend towards nuclear families nowadays, these families have limited interactions with neighbours around; having spent most of their time in offices particularly where both members of the family are working, they are gradually getting cuttoff from their extended families as well, so how does their need for love and belonging get fulfilled? Or better still, where do they have the time to think all this...

So that brings me to my initial question. Who has 'larger than life' goals?

Are we content in being a part of the rat race afterall?

Watch out this space for more...

In fond remembrance

I wouldnt make any claim that she was the best mother in the world because thats a cliche, and wouldnt do justice to the other ladies I have interacted with in my life. But she had her own individuality, her own style of expressing her love and worries for us and taking care of us. She was a beautiful female; with small childlike feet and hands, fair colour, flowing luminous hair, thoughful and considerate eyes and a very soothing touch. Would I consider her my mother just because she gave me birth! While thats an arduous task on its own, I value her more for giving me a new life countless number of times, by spending sleepless nights whenever I had those 104 degree fevers which are practically life-taking be it the chickenpox, or typhoids which she miraculously cured by keeping pattis over my head and washing my hair at wee hours of night.

She was a well educated but simple female, having earned her degrees in BSc and BEd and spent on us kids. I still remember her guiding my hand through cursive writings, making me recite English poems and checking punctuations and spellings with utmost perfection. All this, and she went about her daily chores of cleaning, cooking meals for us, sleeping in the afternoon, gardening very religiously. There was magic in her touch, be it the homemade pickles or the bushes and plants for various vegetables and fruits which bloomed in our garden. She painstakingly sowed the seeds for each one of them and then watered them asif they were her extended self.
She took good care of us, in every aspect of life, be it education or grooming otherwise. I wish her all the best in her onward journey in the circle of life....

Book Reviews- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, by Roald Dahl

A beautiful book which is a mild satire on this world, and particularly the kind of generation that we might be bringing up. The novel brings us to don our thinking hats and analyze the role of parents and society in spoiling the kids.
The book portrays 5 main children as characters through which the author conveys his thoughts on the above. As we run through the novel, we are able to relate it to the youngsters around us who are gradually adopting certain habits and attitudes which can hardly be called ideal.
The present generation likes being pampered and and uses it as an instrument to demand anything they want, they are hooked onto TV sets -becoming couch potatoes and living in a fictionary world of their own- ignoring all around them, they are greedy and forever want to eat junk food which results in obesity, they maddeningly imitate their peers and want to do/sport anything that the peerset does resulting in unhealthy competition.
At the same time we cannot underestimate the role of the parents and the society at large in such upbringing. The novel portrays parents who would not only condone but infact go to the extent possible to fulfill the wishes of their children, to an extent that the same child starts taking things for granted and become snobbish and stubborn.
In the instances where the children find golden tickets for entry in the chocolate factory, the author has painted a very grim but perhaps true picture of mediapersons who treat these children as celebrities; for an event in which nothing more than pure luck has played a role; thus emphasizing that the qualities constituting merit have taken a backseat today. The media goes a step ahead and covers just about everything, showing indiscretion in sieving out the sensical from the non-sensical.
In short a saga of lost virtues- Generation over generation